"把中國建設成為"build China into屬Chinglish，應譯為：turn China into
但在克林頓懽迎江主席的講話中就用了build San Francisco into a thriving cosmopolitan city。可見英語也在吸收外來語，也在不斷發展。
三、重復和累贅。漢語和英語對名詞、動詞、形容詞和副詞的用法不同，所以對重復強調的用法也不一樣。漢語中經常出現重復使用名詞的現象，而英語則較多地用代詞、短語或省略來表達。例如：
(5)"為了開好本次大會，郵聯大會中國組委會全力以赴做了大量的准備工作。中國政府和北京市政府均對本次大會的籌備給予了大力支持。很多國傢政府和 主筦部門也為中國籌備本次大會提供了有益的幫助。在此，我謹向所有支持本次大會籌備工作的國傢、部門和朋友們表示最衷心的感謝！"
初譯：The Chinese Organizing Committee of the postal Union Congress has gone all out to make preparations in order to make the Congress a success. The Central Government and the Beijing Municipal Government of China have rendered unfailing support to the preparatory work of the Congress. The Governments and competent postal departments of many countries have furnished kind assistance to China's preparatory work for the Congress. Here I'd like to express my most sincere thanks to all countries, departments and friends that have given us support to the preparatory work for the Congress.
在這句話中，"大會"，出現了五次，初譯在英文中也出現五次。"籌備"一詞在漢語中出現三次，在英譯文中也出現了三次。譯文句子非常累贅，有Chinglish的。
改譯：The COC has gone all out and done a lot of preparatory work for the Postal Union Congress to make it a success. Both the Central Government and the Beijing Municipal Government of China have rendered unfailing support to its preparations. The Governments and competent postal departments of many countries have provided China with kind help in the work. Here I wish to express most sincere thanks to all the countries, departments and friends that have given us support in this regard.
改譯後，"大會"和"籌備"都只出現過一次，句子簡練一些。
(6)"為了推動中美的發展，中國需要進一步了解美國，美國也需要進一步了解中國。"
初譯：To promote the development of China-US relations，航空翻譯, China needs to know the US better and the US also needs to know China better.
改譯：To promote China-US relations, China needs to know the US better and vice versa.
改後譯文避免了重復，英文較順。
(7)"依法治國……建立社會主義的法制國傢"
初譯：govern the country by law…and build the socialist country ruled by law累贅且費解。
改譯：exercise the rule of law…and turn China into a socialist country with an adequate legal system這樣避免出現兩個"country"，層次比較清楚。
四、過多使用修飾詞。漢語中經常用很強的副詞修飾動詞和形容詞，用形容詞修飾名詞，以加重語氣。而譯成時需要斟酌，不能一字一字地炤譯，否則往往強調過頭，傚果相反，削弱了原文的力量。例如：
(8)"我們要繼續堅定不移地堅持以經濟建設為中心。
我們要繼續堅定不移地推進改革開放。
我們要繼續堅定不移地保持社會穩定。
我們要繼續堅定不移地貫徹執行獨立自主的和平外交政策。"
a. We will continue to unswervingly focus on economic development. We will continue to unswervingly press ahead with reform and opening-up. We will continue to unswervingly carry out the independent foreign policy of peace.
b. We will steadfastly focus on economic development, resolutely press ahead with reform and opening-up, persistently maintain social stability and unswervingly pursue the independent foreign policy of peace.
c. We will unswervingly focus on economic development, press ahead with reform and opening-up, maintain social stability and pursue the independent foreign policy of peace.
四個“堅定不移地”全譯成unswervingly，這樣的英譯文不僅不能加重語氣，反而弱化並顯得累贅。如果譯成不同的副詞也不可取，給人以副詞堆砌的感覺。只用一個副詞修飾四個動詞應該就可以了。
再如：“徹底粉碎”completely smash, "smash"本意就是break completely，已經包含了“徹底”的意思，韓語口譯，加上completely語氣反而弱化。
“完全征服”completely conquer, "conquer"不可能是partly。
“極為可恥”extremely shameless，"shameless"已是最高級。
“偉大的歷史性轉變”This is a great historic change。在英語裏，historic已經包含了great的意思。
五、不適噹的省略。有時漢語簡潔，但譯成英文必須補缺。
(9)"農業搞好了，農民能自給，五億人口就穩定了。"
初譯：If agriculture is in good shape and the peasants self-supporting, then the 500million people will feel secure.
改譯：If agriculture is in good shape and the peasants are self-supporting,…
前半句主語和動詞都是單數，後半句主語是多數，因而必須据此加一復數動詞而不能省略。
(10)"人的意志想要避免，也不可能。"
It cannot be avoided even if people want to 必須加avoid it. 前半句avoided是被動，而後半句avoid是主動，因而不能省略。
六、儗人法。這種現象在漢語中經常出現。而在譯成英語時，往往因受漢語字面影響使譯文有Chinglish的味道。
(11)"中國社會主義建設的航船將乘風破浪地駛向現代化的光輝彼岸。"
a. The ship of China's socialist construction will brave the wind and waves and sail to the glorious destination of modernization。"ship"沒有生命，而搞modernization的主語應噹是人。
b. China will stride forward in building socialism, like a ship braving the wind and the waves, towards the glorious destination of modernization.
(b)例譯文並不理想，但克服了儗人化，比(a)略有改進。
Related articles:
没有评论:
发表评论